We Put Glenn Beck On Notice

Our Bourgeois Media Consumption Bureau (BoroMediConsoBoro) requires a heavy operating budget largely for eye doctors and frequent psychiatric evaluations. You would think a gaggle of unpaid interns would not burden the Party, but as communists we support social health care and practice what we preach. So our unpaid labor force is given rudimentary inspections to prevent depression, dementia, and cataracts. But the BoroMediConsoBoro has clear utility, as exhibited by their capture yesterday of a Mr. Glenn Beck's schwulst about a dear bald comrade.



Now aside from the fact that Mr. Beck references the Brecht Forum as if it were a strip club or porn shop that he didn't want to admit he previously knew anything about and "actually had to look [it] up," Mr. Beck uses great quotes of Mr. Brandt to somehow connect progressivism to communism. We are communists. We are not progressives. Okay, perhaps the Communist Party USA are a bunch of phonies who are not communists but are actually just progressives, but the occasional 'friendship' between the two are not a sign of ideological or political cohesion.

Mr. Beck, on the other hand, is a comedian-turned-pathological-blowhard who has a blustering voice in a central organ of the MainStream Media and spends all day claiming he in otherwise. And then pushes his audience toward fascist activity while claiming fascism is on the right. Worst of all, he whips it out! Mr. Beck, for the love of the General Secretary-Chairman, shove it back down into your pants!

No, Mr. Beck has picked on a member of our party, and we will not sit back. We're getting out our big board of enemies. Hmmm, to put up Glenn Beck we'll have to take something else off. Okay, we'll take down Nick Meglin, and put up Mr. Beck. That's right, we have half a mind to go all V for Vendetta on your ass! You're on notice!

The International Socialist Organization and Revolving Door Recruitment

One of our student cadres, at a time when the FractIntern ordered our party to zero in on campus-based work, was attempting to co-opt an anti-sweatshop formation on his campus in the late 1990s. He was confronted with a preponderance of members of a newly established Socialist Club, the local affiliate of the International Socialist Organization, who were attempting to carry out the same operation for their corresponding party. Rather than immediately go on the attack, he queried their politics and vision in the campaign against the sweatshop manufacturer of that university's apparel. He wondered to them how their party viewed this struggle functioning to further the cause of socialism. This entire Socialist Club chapter looked at him in confusion, and agreed amongst themselves that you didn't have to be a socialist to be in the ISO. They then went around and though all were members of the Socialist Club, and weekly sold issues of the Socialist Worker, none of them self-identified as a socialist.

Clearly, we have a brilliant organizing regimen at work. Recruit as many young people into your party without a gram of discretion, and then train them in the rudiments of the party logic through occasional discussion groups and twice-annual regional conferences which serve to repeat the same analyses of global, local, and historical events. Those that cannot remain committed to the politics, or sell enough issues of the Socialist Wanker, leave or are dismissed.

We have already discussed the ISO in our dynamically ahead-of-the-curve blog (seriously, what other party is so ahead of the curve as to maintain a blog?), in the context of the cooptation and usurpation of groups they didn't specifically produce like the Iraq Veterans Against the War. Similarly, many student groups in the 1990s and 2000s, often focusing on popular struggles like those opposing imperialist war and corporate sweatshops. They have since also become heavy hitters in reproductive rights organizing and the national fight around equal marriage rights.

But most impressively, this Chicago-based party, with few actual international ties (and thus unfortunately open to infantile gags about the "National Socialist Organization" from the anarcho-peanut gallery) has laid waste to bridges on either side of their plateau. They have frustrated the efforts of many folks, sought opportunities in other peoples' organizing, and behaved with almost feverish elitism in their pride at their size and perceived significance. They have a functioning publishing company recently featuring a collection of essays by Wallace Shawn, a periodical distributed in major corporate chains, and have a gaggle of more minor Trotskyite formations that wish to merge or else somehow steel the hidden secret of growth, including the likes of Solidarity, Socialist Action, and Socialist Alternative.

Their elitism is exceptional, for though they maintain no direct cult of personality, they still promote certain theorists and leaders as if they were left celebrities akin to the Chomskys and Cindy Sheehans and Tom Haydens of the day. On the other hand, this group almost inexplicably and consistently supports the Green Party, not trusting itself or other avowedly socialist parties who do have candidates to actually carry any elections.

Therefore, the CP(F) has been left with no other option, but full and total co-optation. We have a number of cadres in our own scattered across the ISO and its editorial boards, and within weeks (unless they somehow discover our plot) we will either have control of their organization, the Socialist Worker, their periodicals, and their publishing company, or stage a full frontal rhetorical assault on these arch-trots.

News or Letters

As the Dunayevskayan influenced News and Letters Committees came to a factional end earlier this year, we applaud the comrades that had led the fight for the division into committees of News and their rivals, the committees of Letters. As capitalism is confronted in so much of the rest of the world by united fronts, it is good to see the dialectical bisection of more and more Marxist organizations in North America.

That we support the dissolution and division is apparent. The question for those that follow our positions is which do we support: News, or Letters?

News, that tantric waste of space that wallows in the hypocritical bog of ideological objectivity. Or Letters, in which personal privations may be learned and rumors spread. Read how many of Karl Marx's letters were biting polemics or sarcastic scoffs at contemporaries far behind their backs. It is clear, for the purposes of the sectarian revolution we call for, the CP(F) STANDS WITH LETTERS!

Kasama and the Revolutionary Communist Party

There is much to discuss these days, as the Party funds have been crippled when our stocks in Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers, and Fannie Mae have been crushing. But we have a solution. More Party dues, more paper sales! How will we accomplish this? By picking up some comrades on the rebound.

Over the past several years, there have been a few periods where our rivals in the Revolutionary Communist Party (United $tates of Amerikkka) have seen mass purges or mass defection during periods of strategic upheaval and self-proclaimed cultural revolution. Our rare, unique, special and irreplacible comrade General Secretary-Chairman has been watching these events with bated breath, less such an awaking from so-called personality cults hit other parties as infectiously as the financial collapse has dominoed between investment banks.

Let us assure our great comrade Bob Avakian, the Stalin to our General Secretary-Chairman's Lenin, that their intransigence in the face of internal dissent and apostacy has been nothing short of inspirational. We offer our hearty admiration to Chairman Bob for his narrow mindedness and dogmatic anti-revionism.

But the comrades who have led these recreances or been excommunicated have also shown an inspirational path, showing a way of factionalism that is worthwhile yet maintaining a line in support of authoritarian Maoism. And we believe that the residual desire for a new idol and sense of listlessness in the want of Party orders may lead these comrades to seek another revolutionary communist fighting machine on which to rely. So far, the Maoist Internationalist Movement (MIM) has already issued blistering communiques against the former Avakianites.

The RCP deserters, both of the Kasama project and else, include young party militants and theorists, which will greatly increase the projected sales of our party organs, and flush us with dues, bringing us back from the brink of a microcosm of the kind of economic disaster that Karl Marx foretold of. Again, our unique and rare General Secretary-Chairman, a mirror of the caliber of revolutionary of a Vladimir Ilyich Lenin or a Louis Auguste Blanqui, has found a way for us!

And if that doesn't work, perhaps we'll apply for a government bail-out.

Processes of the Party

As everything in the CP(F) is consistently debated in the dredges of the dankest of basements and community centers by our eloquently factionalist membership, it is important to note that virtually none of our statements nor policies nor communiques are ever beyond draft form, unless posted by renegade sects that attempt a unilateralist policy of publication.

This is also the reason why our weekly newspaper, the Sectarian Worker, has been indefinitely postponed, as well as due to the successful factionalizing of the sniveling cowards that was our editorial board.

Regardless, this new blog will be the resurrection of the Party in public and national form. After the creation of such newly formed Leninist groups as the Communist League, the Free Peoples Movement, the Organization, and others since the CP(F) reached a stagnant stage of dormancy, we have decided that our crusade (yes, crusade, as our General Secretary-Chairman is nothing if not a messianic figure), must continue.

We will speak through those mass movements we operate within, including our anti-war front, er, anti-coalition JUST ANSWER PEACE!, and others. Our various, innumerable, countless factions will also now be given a forum, as will the communiques of our fearless leader-on-high, the ignoble General Secretary-Chairman.

To join us, leave a first name (doesnt have to be real) and a ministry, and prepare for a rigid lifestyle, rife with fractionalism, sectarianism, factionalism (there are nuances between the three), purges, and hopefully someday a return to our most egregious of revolutionary errors: opportunistic quotaed newspaper selling. Those ministries which currently exist and are still known shall also be posted in coming days (or possibly hours), though names in most cases are changed to protect our politboro.

As for our raison d’être, to place a mirror in front of the left in the United States Empire, make it laught at itself, and then let it whimper when it realizes it can never be as factionalistic as we. We have set the precedent for attacking foolosophers and philistines (sorry to the Palestinians offended by the term) who stick to the sectarian dogma that has helped keep the Left marginal. The Left's alleged goals - to correct injustice, fight for democracy, strive for a better society for all- have been successfully cut short thanks to the amazing internal divisionism that has kept it weak. So, as the first party formed specifically to attract agents provocateurs, we say splendid to the Left for doing what the state infiltrators could only dream of doing: making our collective and thoroughly righteous goals incredibly difficult to materialize.

Down with Anarchy, Centralize Authority!

Draft Programme and Manifesto

To begin our new blogs, our Draft Programme and Manifesto, in need of update:

The Abridged Draft Programme & Manifesto of the
New Communist Revolutionary Socialist Alternative People's Power Democratic Internationalist United Peasant's Black Popular Independent Student's Soldier's Industrial Worker's defence Autonomous Global Anarcho Insurgent Armed Liberation All-African National Panther Oppressed Syndicalist Red Flag Progressive Labour Struggle Freedom Road Anti-Imperialist Direct Action Social Justice Solidarity October Resistance Proletarian Pacifist Humanist Bolshevik Uhuru Militant Current Green Situationist Labour Insurrectionist Intransigent
Another World is Possible
Prairie Fire by Night Radical Vanguard
Front-League-Organization-Brigade-Party
(Marxist-Leninist-Maoist-Trotskyist-Bakuninist-Bolshevist-Reconstitution-Reformation-Refoundation-
Workers' Democracy-Broad Front-New Majority-Unity-Macheteros-Fight Back-Free Red Homeland-
People's Army-General Command)
The Vanguard Party of the vanguard parties!



Courtesy of UberVanguard Press, a subsidiary of Fractintern Publishers Inc. & Crimethinc

Position Statement:
All revolutionary theory and praxis, says our virulent General Secretary Chairman, comes from the dialectical process, and this is our strategic revolutionary framework. Only through the acts of sectarianism and purges can our all-powerful and prophetous General Secretary Chairman cleanse us of bourgeois decadence, reactionary contradictions, and revisionist horse manure!
All comrades must recognize, as has been taught to us by the great and valiant General Secretary Chairman, that the masses cannot lead the revolution, and we have learned that it is best if they do not even participate in it! While the party, led by the superior and supreme General Secretary Chairman, espouses the ideal of the jacobin mob, the people are brainwashed zombie-slaves, and cannot possibly participate in their own emancipation! Further, no group that does not totally and completely follow the party doctrine, laid down on us by the heaven's luminous rays from which the General Secretary Chairman leads us, cannot be anything but a reactionary fascist paper-tiger! Coalitions are to be joined, as we have seen in the vast and all encompassing experience of the honorable General Secretary Chairman, only if our comrades gum up meetings in unnecessary and monotonous debates on the specific theoretical framework and the process, and if, soon before the events the coalitions plan, the coalition is either totally controlled and co-opted by the party, or has broken apart into many tiny little itty bitty bitter fractions. This is truly the path to the Great Proletarian Revolutionary Socialist triumph, where we will serenade our divine General Secretary Chairman as he wallows in his own crap...ulence.

Platform:
The CP(F) believes that, besides perpetual factionalism and purges, selling newspapers is the most revolutionary method in the quest for mass armed struggle, although unfortunately the entire editorial staff broke off into a faction. The CP(F) is the leading member of the Fractiontern. The CP(F) is founded upon (Groucho)Marxism-Lennonism-Trotism-MauMauism-Stolenism thought. It espouses all people's factions everywhere, looking as a historical process at the fraction that left Spartacus, led by Peepeefeces, the fraction of Stenka Razin, led by Stinky Raisin, and the fraction off of Pugachev, led by his Pukingchief. After breaking off from the First International, a sect known as the Marxist Brotherhood, led the first Marxian revolutionary fraction. From there we have seen the Spartacus League and SWP in the USA, the great national liberation schism in Angola, the internal conflicts of the Bolsheviks, the leadership of the gang of four during the great
proletarian cultural revolution, and the ambience of such landmark movements as Sendero Luminosa and the Khmer Rouge. Our leader has also led us to consistently support micro-regionalist movements, like the Macedonians, Timorese, ETA, IRA, Chechens, Moro, Eritreans, and others.

History:
It is believed our General Secretary Chairman was born in a small town in Georgia. In 1921, one day after the founding of the Communist Party, our great founder and General Secretary Chairman broke with the revisionist CP, and founded the CP(F). He had been a wobbly, who had broken off under the slogan 'thousands of tiny unions.' His ideals, though, led him to a series of dialectical errors, in which he joined many other North American Marxist groups, and consistently saw their counter-revolutionary, bourgeois, decadent and revisionist errors, and consistently broke off. Our greatest model in North America is the Spartacus League. During the 1920s, the party supported Sacco over Venzetti, as the former's name was easier to spell.
In 1926, the party broke apart into factions temporarily, and then led the revolutionary struggle in the early 1930s, which were subverted by the reactionary CP, SWP and mass movements. The party started rent riots for middle class cadres, supported the superlumpenproletarians against the lumpenproletarians or proletarians, and founded the first unemployment council for out-of-work intellectuals. Simultaneously, during the Trotsky-Stalin split after Lenin’s death, the party sided with Kamo, and sects broke off in favor of Zinoviev, Bukharin, the anarchists, the Mensheviks, Trotzky, and Stalin. then a sect broke off of the Trotzky sect arguing that the name should be spelled with an 's.'
During the Spanish Civil War, the party organized the John Brown Brigade in opposition to the CP Abraham Lincoln brigade, and broke up into fractions supporting the CNT, the Phalange, and revisionist Marxist-Leninists. The party applauded both Stalin's purges of counterrevolutionary traitors, as well as Trotsky's criticism of it, and then was divided over the assassination of Trotsky. During WWII, the party again broke up into sects supporting the allies, others supporting the Soviet and Chinese red armies, others supporting the Czech and Greek partisans, some supporting Diego Rivera and Frida Khalo, some supporting Picasso, and Jeremy, who supported Switzerland. There were again splits in the party over the Yugoslavia question, and this led to massive purges. The party was virtually destroyed during the era of McCarthyism, after vengeful former members

had an amazing propensity to name names (some of which had to be checked
in to mental institutions because they became incapable of stopping). The party reemerged by the end of the 1950s, in time to condemn Khrushchev for his condemnation of Stalin, who had also been condemned by the CP(F).
The party condemned the 26 de julio revolution of Cuba in favor of the communist party of that country, and saluted the in-fighting and coup of Algeria's Ben Bella. One of the landmark moments in the history of the party came in the great, revolutionary schism. the Sino-Soviet split was actually begun at a tea party held by the our great general-secretary chairman involving soviet and Chinese leaders (Zhou Enlai was not invited, as he was too diplomatic), in which the general-secretary chairman privately alerted Chinese leaders to the soviets' intentions of dominating the 3rd world national liberation struggles in a Soviet social-imperialist assault, and then privately alerting the soviet leaders that the Chinese had criminalized vodka in favor of rice wine. The party was split during the Angolan national liberation struggle, between those supporting the FNLA, the MPLA, Unita, and the by then-defunct Grae.
The Communist Party (Factionalist) currently claims a membership level at over ten thousand, with chapters all over the country. It is the leading member of the Fractintern, which claims member branches in some eleven countries, colonies, and micro regions.

Down w/ Anarchy, Centralize Authority!
Don't Agonize, Factionalize!
Onwards, to the Great Proletarian Revolutionary Schism!
Workers of the World, Divide!
Stop Leftist Redundancy, Now!
Liberate Botswana from Left Examplism!
End the Practice of Confusionism!
Purge, Argue, Purge!
People's Army Faction for Life!





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