Top Secret Directive Amendment to Operative 745

Base to Operative:

Your mission has been compromised STOP The Central Committee has worked hard to keep your cover STOP but media giant Glenn Beck is on to us STOP We have denied that you have socialist politics STOP and we know that you have shown great resolve in maintaining your cover with plenty of conservative policies STOP There is little more that we can do STOP He has a state-of-the-art tool of counterintelligence STOP A Chalkboard EXCLAMATORY STOP

They have discovered everything STOP They know your reforms are just incremental steps to our totalitarian plans STOP They know you are appointing your comrade operatives STOP They know you weren't born in their country STOP They know you are a practicing Moslem STOP They know you sleep with a teddy bear named Vladdy Lenin STOP They know that Jed Brandt is your spokesperson to the Committees of Public Safety STOP They know everything STOP Burn and delete all documents STOP Execute any FBI or other Secret Police agents suspected of treachery, and have the rest delete all traces you have to the party and the Seventh Communist International STOP These are direct orders STOP

Your General-Secretary Chairman