Vote Capitalism '08

The CP(F) is deeply divided by the news of the Ralph Nader presidential candidacy. Several hundred of our comrades, led by some indignant sector chiefs, have bandied his way, splitting from their comrades who already pushed for the support of whomever the Greens nominate. All of these comrades have been duly censured for their actions having strayed from the two dominant party tendencies, those who either call for permanent election boycotts, and those who plan to write-in "General Secretary-Chairman of the Communist Party (Factionalist)" after our own GSC was unceremoniously stripped of his right to a candidacy for refusing to bare his legal nomenclature. Also censured are those micro-sects endorsing rival Leninist parties' candidates and the Socialist Party.

And to our comrades and fellow travelers in Ohio, Texas and Pennsylvania, we are continuing our Primary tactic of writing in 'Capitalism.' Please text cell phone pictures of your ballots to 53646 as evidence of your adhesion to the party line.

CP(F) blog back on-line after techno-bureaucratic putsch

The Politboro of the Communist Party (Factionalist) apologizes deeply for the website hiatus, placing all blame on the techno-bureaucratic Stalinoid opportunist putsch a year and a half ago that required a purge and fierce internal party debate over the use of digital recruitment. It is our feeling, of course, that the internet is a reactionary tool of the outsourcers and off-layers to further reduce the workforce. Nevertheless, like Nazis who use rock music, Christian fundamentalists who rap, or business unions who engage in Maoist sloganeering, we feel that we must use means not necessarily within our principles to take on our ends.

As for the recent elections, we believe the anarchist response to boycott is conservative and silent. That is why the CP(F) formally adopts a campaign of widespread voter fraud and polling place sabotage. Elimintate the paper tiger elections! Quash the comprador campaigns!

We also ask for you to disregard those renegade sects of our party which respectively call for endorsing the reactionaries Hillary Rodham Clinton, Barack Hussein Obama, and Enver Hoxha. These sects will be cruelly ostracized from party fiestas and pot-lucks.