Echidna Associated Society

The Division Division of the Trotboro of our Party has been watching a small, but allegedly growing pseudo-Humanist Trotskyite sect over the last two years known as the Platypus Affiliated Society. They proclaim the already tired slogan "The Left is dead! Long Live the Left!" Oh, how original!

Burning bridges and creating enemies, they appear to be a rival faction whose modus operandi largely boils down to a once-quarterly, now-sorta-monthly periodical filled with polemics against the Marxist Left, for the reconstitution of the so-called Marxian Left. ist versus ian! As overly intellectual academics, from their ivory towers they drop banners of Enlightenment and claim to be above the fray, while they admonish their cousins in the streets for having not learned the failures of the Pop Front strategy of the 1930s. Worst, they claim chapters in cities or campuses once they have one member there in existence. These soon-to-be-neocon monotremes have clearly taken a page from our playbook!

And so, our Division Division has responded with the creation of the aptly titled Echidna Associated Society, so named as its loosely associated scholarly members grab from many sectors of the egoistic and obfuscatory factional failures of the organizational Left. The sub-sub-sub-sect's now-sorta-weekly-but-really-annual periodical, the Echidna Response, will be due out by the next opportunity for student mobilizations.

Oft blamed for neglecting the actual working class, except where decertifying union battles occur, our talented and up-tempo General Secretary-Chairman now puts forth to the world our newest and least acclaimed of factions, the Echidna Associated Society. And so it be done.

Our Cadres at work: Change to Win collapse

Within days, it will be announced that UNITE HERE has been broken up. There will be the unions Workers UNITE! and HERE 1. The dissolution of Change to Win will come, and some unions will merge into SEIU, a union that has itself cut 40% of its paid staff. 

We had sent our cadres inside some time ago, largely a legion of silver spoon-fed elite university graduates with little work experience, to weaken these union internationals through low morale, corporate strategies, anonymous diatribes against those same corporate strategies, and the loss of rank and file leadership. By the middle of last year, it was evident that the fruits of their damage might be born out in the cracks of the merger between the UNITE! and HERE internationals.

We had also thrown our cadres in SEIU and CNA-NNOC into full-on combat. It was the CP(F) that orchestrated the union raids, decertification drives, and the attack on the Labor Notes conference the year before. Even by proudly confessing to this now, we spread the flames of red-baiting and anti-marxist purges that will quietly take place.

But best of all is the chaos of this year. The Transport and Auto Workers unions conspire to organize industries strongly held by HERE, the old guard leadership of the merged unions are in civil war, SEIU is raiding and trying to swallow whole locals, whole internationals. 

All of this makes our inspirational and fearless General Secretary-Chairman feel a bit like an Emperor Palpatine.  Soon union rebellion against the AFL-CIO will be crushed, and the labor movement's growth in some sectors will fade to dust. And then, with one fell swoop the CP(F) can enter and have an entire nation of unorganized workers to organize into our mass labor organizations. 

Change to Win? I beg of thee, Losers never Win.

News or Letters

As the Dunayevskayan influenced News and Letters Committees came to a factional end earlier this year, we applaud the comrades that had led the fight for the division into committees of News and their rivals, the committees of Letters. As capitalism is confronted in so much of the rest of the world by united fronts, it is good to see the dialectical bisection of more and more Marxist organizations in North America.

That we support the dissolution and division is apparent. The question for those that follow our positions is which do we support: News, or Letters?

News, that tantric waste of space that wallows in the hypocritical bog of ideological objectivity. Or Letters, in which personal privations may be learned and rumors spread. Read how many of Karl Marx's letters were biting polemics or sarcastic scoffs at contemporaries far behind their backs. It is clear, for the purposes of the sectarian revolution we call for, the CP(F) STANDS WITH LETTERS!

Kasama and the Revolutionary Communist Party

There is much to discuss these days, as the Party funds have been crippled when our stocks in Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers, and Fannie Mae have been crushing. But we have a solution. More Party dues, more paper sales! How will we accomplish this? By picking up some comrades on the rebound.

Over the past several years, there have been a few periods where our rivals in the Revolutionary Communist Party (United $tates of Amerikkka) have seen mass purges or mass defection during periods of strategic upheaval and self-proclaimed cultural revolution. Our rare, unique, special and irreplacible comrade General Secretary-Chairman has been watching these events with bated breath, less such an awaking from so-called personality cults hit other parties as infectiously as the financial collapse has dominoed between investment banks.

Let us assure our great comrade Bob Avakian, the Stalin to our General Secretary-Chairman's Lenin, that their intransigence in the face of internal dissent and apostacy has been nothing short of inspirational. We offer our hearty admiration to Chairman Bob for his narrow mindedness and dogmatic anti-revionism.

But the comrades who have led these recreances or been excommunicated have also shown an inspirational path, showing a way of factionalism that is worthwhile yet maintaining a line in support of authoritarian Maoism. And we believe that the residual desire for a new idol and sense of listlessness in the want of Party orders may lead these comrades to seek another revolutionary communist fighting machine on which to rely. So far, the Maoist Internationalist Movement (MIM) has already issued blistering communiques against the former Avakianites.

The RCP deserters, both of the Kasama project and else, include young party militants and theorists, which will greatly increase the projected sales of our party organs, and flush us with dues, bringing us back from the brink of a microcosm of the kind of economic disaster that Karl Marx foretold of. Again, our unique and rare General Secretary-Chairman, a mirror of the caliber of revolutionary of a Vladimir Ilyich Lenin or a Louis Auguste Blanqui, has found a way for us!

And if that doesn't work, perhaps we'll apply for a government bail-out.

The 101st Sectbourne Brigade at the Iraq Veterans Against the War

What a great summer for conventions! Be it Labor Notes, Service Employees International Union, Democratic, Republican or Iraq Veterans Against the War, mix some extra miracle whip into the pasta salad, slice a watermelon, and put the flask into a paper bag, because it's Convention Time!

No, the CP(F) will not be having it's planned Rocky Mountain regional convention, as that one collective who was going to host us broke up, that Jewish museum found out we're anti-Zionist and canceled our reservations, and those students couldn't get their act together to get the paperwork in on time. So, I guess we won't be able to pass Comrade Murphy's proposed law.

Well, in lieu of this, we have been plotting for the past month to have a fractiously solid bloc at the Iraq Veterans Against the War convention coming up this weekend in the Twin Cities (which we love, since we believe they were once a singly city but broke up over an area code. We could be wrong, but we have Comrade O'Reilly fact-checking.)

This convention will be a big deal, not just because of steady growth in that now four year old organization, but because our rivals in the International Socialist Organization are pushing a big slate of candidates for those positions on the national board that are open. The more independent-minded but no less radical IVAWers (pronounce that) are also pushing a slate that would try to wrest the group from total ISO control. And either faction could split if the other wins.

Well, in honor of this, our Fractious Caucus will be forming in the moments before the convention begins, and we will pursue a third slate of five comradely veterans, each of whom will call for the IVAW to split their separate ways. In the event that we lose, we will consolidate our forces into the caucus (many of whom were drill sergeants or Coast Guard), and plan other means of demoralizing the troops (ahem, anti-war veterans) until they all go our way.

Because our Party sees no need for a united front of anti-war soldiers, fighting both for their and their compatriots' healthcare and tuition benefits, proving that many opponents of these grisly wars are among the loudest in opposition, and giving a united voice to those who have direct experiences having fought in the war. We think that they should all march to our orders, and if any of them don't, stand down and give us twenty!

So, be ready for us, the ISO, and the state agents to be very present at the IVAW convention with every plan of co-optation or division, and if you don't like it, step on a mine, and take that in your pipe and smoke it!

The CP(F) solves the food crisis with millet and mullet

For five or so months, protests, strikes, riots, and rebellions have rocked the planet over the increasing costs of fuel and food, a menial crisis for some but catastrophic for billions of people living in a poverty created by capitalist imperialism. Wheat, corn, rice, plantain, banana, tomato, yuca, milk, eggs, you name it and the staples of people who are just barely surviving under regimes of neo-colonialism and corporate globalization are finding themselves at the breaking point. This is not over-population, as Western racists would have us believe to evade us from issues of underdevelopment and exploitation.

To address this, and issue a clear command to all of our members, the CP(F) PolitBoro has decided to call on a cuisine strike, to last for at least a month. From henceforth, our comrades will be sticking to the sub-basics, the most plebeian options available on the market. Our primary source of grain will be millet, for use as a hot cereal, flour, bread, beer source, and for all other such uses. For meat eaters, we will be restricted to mullet, and the occasional roadkill rabbit or deer. Sugars will come from artificial sweeteners to be poached from capitalist restaurants, and salts may be grated out of salt water lakes and seas.

We feel that, in the great tradition of Gandhi and non-violent resisters, we can show our solidarity with rioters around the world through this form of anti-elitist fasting, cleansing ourselves of the bourgeois decadence that helps instill our need to defend petit bourgeois class interests. All comrades found sauteeing quinoa, enjoying non-soured wines or cooking with too many aromatic spices in their dishes will be sentenced to self-criticism essays to be published in the Party's self-criticism quarterly and at a length of our choosing. End communication.

The Keyboard is mightier than the Sword!

The highest proletarian achievements can be gained through the internet, something that the CP(F) realizes far ahead of our comradely rivals. Therefore, we will begin a Tet Offensive by enforcing that as many members as have access join Friendster, MiGente, and all such sites.

Monitoring the bourgeois press, our agitprop and outreach Ministries have realized that the best means available to reaching young people is through this world wide web, and just as we were among the first rush of blogs to exist as of two years ago, the Party will take full advantage of the internationalism and camaraderie evident on these socialist networking sites.

Further, thanks to some of our more tech savvy comrades in the Students for a Bolshevik Society, we have learned that these sites also enable Party militants to begin on-line petitions, and we will take the fullest advantage of this weapon that is immediately available.

On the other, we realize that though the keyboard is mightier than the sword, this new black powder boom stick is still mightier than the keyboard. The Party will clandestinely begin stockpiling hand cannons and fire lances immediately!