The New York Philharmonic in the People's Democratic Republic of Korea

As the People's Democratic Republic of Korea is our most shining example of the luminous path of non-Marxist Stalinism, we are always quick to take note at the all-bearing glory of the finest exemplar of democracy that our world has to offer.

This is why our Central-East Asian Department of the Foreign Relations Bureau is aghast at the news that the New York Philharmonic has been permitted into the world's finest hermit democratic republic to dispense with a western decadence that can only mean detriment to the great Juchean society that the Big Kim and Lil Kim strove so hard to achieve.

On the bright side, it is an exciting testament to the beauty of the PDRK that we believe some of the North Americans' oboe section has escaped their handlers to live out exile in Juche and prosperity. The tremendous liberty of Koreans is revealed by the lack of refugees or exiles or immigrants to come out in the past sixty years.