Communist Party (Factionalist)

Libya and the dilemma of the Lesser of Two Wonderfuls

2011-09-11T12:49:00.001-07:00

And we're back. We apologize for the absence, but we've had quite our work cut out for us, purging every last member who had turned down the wishy-washy road of progressivism, as Lawrence O'Donnell might castigate them for doing. (Who himself is a "European-style socialist" and therefore weak as fuck, too.) The progressives have been too busy twisting Gramsci, and foisting Alinkyism and the liberal versions of identity politics over the Left, so our purge was near complete. With such a reduced cadre, it is a wonder we have anyone left to level political injunctions upon our followers.

Because of a recent request by one of our fearless and inveterate General Secretary-Chairman's younglings, a late convocation of leading party commissars have been summoned to pontificate upon the Party's doctrinal position over NA✞O's aggression against Qattafi, now in it's sixth month. The padawan is correct that this is a question we should have long ago expressed interest in, as are those regarding the Arab Spring, which itself began in Carthaginian Winter and is wading into a Bedouin Autumn.

Unfortunately, our meeting was devoured by discord. Each side had authoritative evidence to push its agenda. The Tankies Division of our Central Committee entered prepared with issues of the Final Call and the Workers World which presented irrefutable evidence that Ghadafi's collaboration with European powers and training of genocidal paramilitaries in Western Africa are irrelevant in defining Colonel Khatafy as a lifelong champion of socialist jamarahiya and green revolution (we hear his Ukrainian nurses' vibrators are biodiesel-fueled).

On the other hand, the Party's commissars aligned with the Liberal Imperialism Faction fruitfully expressed that when former empires led by conservative parties bomb civilian targets from jets to take out a leader that counters their hegemony in Africa and prove they still have some mojo, it is all outweighed by the fact that this time the United States is run by a Democrat with a father from Africa. The Liberal Imperialist Faction came complete with a scientific chart animating a seesaw where Sarkozy, Cameron and Berlusconi's sabre-rattling were easily outweighed by President Obama's not-being-George-Bush.

As it was clear that the Party had to take sides with either a murderous Cold War relic made up of former colonial powers manifested in NA✞O who just weeks before had been imploring other regional tyrants like Ben Ali, Saleh and Mubarak to remain in power, or a murderous Third Worldist relic of a tyrant who speechified about wholesale slaughtering his populace so that his sons could continue racing sports cars through European cities and he could continue selling out Palestinian refugees, we deliberated on the matter for quite some time. Because, y'know, you just can't rationally oppose both sides while supporting the Libyan people's own self-determination. No, you mustn't think of doing that.

In the end, we decided to order some white pizzas and a side of crazy bread, and reconvene via conference call.

Comedy Central's Liberalism isn't Destroying America

2010-09-17T08:10:00.001-07:00

The CentCom (Central Committee) has decided to take action against the ComCent (Comedy Central). Once again, Americans have found some would-be prophets who speak loudly and say nothing, offering a divisive solution that could undermine the divisive solutions offered by our own jealous and indignant General Secretary-Chairman.

Monsieurs Stewart and Colbert (who we understand to be French-American, according to a trustworthy source) have made much ado about the convoluted tar pit that United States political discourse has found itself in. These two progressives have about as much analysis as progressivism allows. Y'know, none. And summoning up all their patriotic frustrations with a poltical system that has nearly ground to a halt, and a bourgeois (our term, not theirs) media that promotes Jerry Springer back-room-brawls over substance, they have organized a rally.

The Rally to Restore Sanity and the March to Keep Fear Alive are dual stunts that they hope will convey a potential electorate's fatigue with stalemates and partisanship-for-partisanship's-sake, and provoke a shift away from polarization and towards progress.

Except, don't use that word. Progress. That's too close to progressive, which is too close to liberal, and those are ideological terms. Stewart and Colbert (sounds like a plate of crackers and cheese) have cautiously guided the reins and squeezed the stirrups to stay away from anything that would appear remotely ideological, be it moderate and liberal or anything near the socialism that both adamantly reject.

Now, if we were to imagine an America where conservatives have controlled the framing of the country's political discourse for, say, about three decades, with the exception being a liberal PC police that don't allow racists to say what they mean, we would think ComCent's Stewart was playing right into conservative hands. Without suggesting an ideology or taking on any substantive analysis that could lead to any promising visions or solutions, it would seem Stewart was allowing conservatives to turn words like progressive and liberal into the very dirty words that dare not speak their names.

Stewart's rally is a response to Glenn Beck's co-optation of the Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King Junior for his crusade towards a white supremacist, pro-capitalist putsch. But the difference is clear: Beck proclaimed himself a conservative. He enunciated a series of ideals, plotted a frothingly crazy schema of the Left and its alleged conspiracies against him and you and your unborn child's unborn child, offered a list of core principles, and told viewers the way out of the tunnel before it fills with sewage and the American people drown.

The champions of civil discourse, on the other hand, took on the task of reformulating the political discourse while jumping into the shadows every time responsibility might be laid upon them to actually lead or say what they mean. While demanding the audience move away from apathy, and the media and politicians move toward the issues rather than the marketing of conflict, Stewart shirked any duty to fill the void with substance. And how did he do this? By being one of the foremost media and political critics of the past decade but hiding in the title of "comedian". He said he would lead, and when he was asked toward what, he denied he was a leader.

This is all a fancy way of saying that Stewart, while funny as he lambasts the hypocrisy of others, is a hypocritical tool himself. Colbert, while playing into Stewart's spineless attempt to decry spinelessness, at least promises a level of parody we can relate to. Stay in character, play up what you don't believe, and no one will ever be able to question you as seriously as they do Stewart. So, if you make it out to the March to Keep Fear Alive, beware the Red Menace, because we've chosen sides.

We bad-jacket Anarchist news dot org

2010-06-01T14:41:00.000-07:00

As many well know, the Communist Party (Factionalist) operates a number of anarcho-maoist and trotskyist affinity groups. Generally speaking, their modus operandi is inactivity and observation. Most of the techniques that they would employ are already carried out by our anarchist brethren: badjacketing, internecine violence, paranoia, anti-intellectualism, provocation... and the list goes on. We the factionalists don't need to engage in these amongst the anarchists because they have become expert at it all. Up the Autonomy, er, Factionalism!

Nevertheless, we aren't completely clear when Anarchistnews.org first appeared on the scene (*which anarchists generally operate within, rather than, y'know, movements). The site has posts dating back to 2005, but became most clearly evident only last year, staging what amounted to a Jerry Springer Show for anarchist(er-than-thou) communiques and tracts, complete with chair throwing commentary and overblown melodrama. It beat out the United States competitors like A-Infos, Infoshop, and Indymedia. Granted, Infoshop contributed greatly to its own demise as the North American anarchist web news of choice, but the ascent of this latecomer has been impressive.

And it is a theatrically bad website. It has been the main source of any number of the most putrid and sniping communiques that anarchists have written against each other, from the APOC attacks on Food Not Bombs and CrimethInc, to the Bash Back diatribes, to the recent Crazy Bitches reports. For those with little or no personal commitment to these scenes, Anarchistnews.org offers nothing but the most humorous depiction of the state of their ideology in this country. Truly enjoyable reading. All from a laughably self-identified "non-sectarian" conduit.

It's value to the 'movement' then, can be expressed in that it has done nothing but help exacerbate animosities, break up groups, given exposure to the most sordid fringe voices, squelch real debate, and generally help implode most of what existed of organized anarchism only a few years ago.

That is why, with pure conjecture and nothing remotely resembling evidence, we would like to break the biggest news in the scene. Anarchistnews.org was produced by anti-politics capitalist hipsters in the employ of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, Brandon Darby, Steve Wilkos, and the International Association of Campus Law Enforcement Administrators. If Anarchistnews.org is indeed not a product of infiltration and COINTELPRO activities, then anarchists are an even bigger joke than we already thought.

To learn more about the accusations and more, check out the new non-partisan news source Anarchistdrama.org. Now to return to our principal day's work, leaving violent sectarian ridicule in the comments section of our favorite anarchist websites.

Update:

This entry was recently posted to Anarchistnews.org, and clearly their readership is subject to less rigorous censorship than ours- the only explanation for the larger number of comments over there.

Our Tea Party Comes Late: A Belated Response to the Responders

2010-05-17T08:42:00.000-07:00

A little over a year ago, many sectors of the far right here in the United States did what the Left generally fails to do, to coalesce. They coalesced around a movement, Tea Party or Teabagging depending on who you are, that came together against a common enemy, common hysteria, and with common slogans. As time went on, it became clearer that this grassroots was nothing but astroturf, that there was corporate backing and power structure support fundamental to this movement that had never existed for most moments of the truly grassroots Left. It was propped up by climate change lobbyist Koch Industries, the bourgeois mainstream media's FOX News, Congressional Republicans, and took as icons major politicians.

But despite this, the Tea Party was still galvanizing many citizens across the country, and bringing together rightist elements that had been at odds during the Bush administration. Christian extremists, the neo-conservatives of groups like the Protest Warriors, and the anti-immigrant racists Minutemen were not to be found in a room together, all the less for any length of time. But in President Obama, they found an antithesis, a liberal who they exaggerated as a Communist or Socialist, a Black man who frightened their sense of white nationality, a man rolling back Christian extremist and neo-conservative policies, and a worldly, half-first generation man who might understand the plight of immigrant workers. Obama, who has kept troops in Iraq and Afghanistan, cow-towed to Israel and Hamid Karzai, assassinated people in other countries, and worked hard to maintain capitalism.

The analogy is clear: Franklin Delano Roosevelt carried out (much vaster) sweeping changes that introduced tempered levels of social democracy in defense of capitalism from the growing communist and syndicalist movements during the Great Depression, and who likewise carried out assassinations in Central America and ordered the national guard on striking workers, was attacked by elements of the right. The conflict then was in part over the means to protect private property from social war. The conflict today is as much that as racism.

Perhaps the big tent of the Tea Party will someday soon collapse of its own weight into our beloved factionalism, or the Republicans will gain power and this will signal the death knell for the unity of the reactionaries. But this is not the purview of the CP(F). We deign to critique the poor fellows of the right, as our concentration is on the Left. Preferably the socialist left, but today we will include our scurrilous opponents known as Liberals (fore make no mistake about it, a Progressive is nothing but a Liberal in Left clothing).

The Response

The Left and the Liberals saw the rising, militant, and street marching Tea Party with impotent inertia. Antifas know that fascists must be stomped out as soon as they bud to prevent their growth, but both Leftists and Liberals ignored the reactionary clamor until it blossomed into a great bed of weeds. Only in the first few months of this year did much of them capitulate to the Tea Party themes and attempt a retort.

Take, for example, the abysmally unpleasant Coffee Party. Initially, liberals in the bourgeois news media attempted to give it undue publicity, bypassing the long existing left and Bush Era-created liberal movements who had already, if meekly, attempted to shout down Teabaggers. This credit was warrantless. The Coffee Party has proven itself not to be news at all. But let's get to it's most startling of contradictions. The Coffee Party refused to align itself with liberalism, declaring itself sans labels. Oh, how post-politics. So, while the Teabaggers loudly and constantly hoist the banner of conservativism, the Coffeefilters have let the Teabaggers turn its opposite, liberalism, into a dirty word. In other words, the Coffee Party began its counter assault by waving a genuine white flag. This all, at the meantime, while it named itself the Coffee Party, substituting the word Tea with its main beverage competitor. The Coffeefilters, lacking substance, passion, testicles, or ovaries, had C-Span cover their early events only to reveal a continued impotence and lack of direction that led potential followers into confusion. Revolting.

With their time past (or so we hope), various other liberal and Leftist responses have continued to spring up, like blighted tomatoes whose existence will come to naught. A project of the International Association of Machinists, one of many unions whose memberships have declined with North American deindustrialization and automation, calls itself the Union of the Unemployed. Okay, this is a long needed and very basic concept that socialists and unionists have long since known was the right way to go, from those organized by communists in the 1930s to those in Iraq today. Unfortunately, IAM's unemployed union operates as a social networking site rather than anything resembling a union. And true to the game, their project was created by some lame business professionals to appear as sterile and corporate as possible, under the concept UCube (not to be mixed up with Youtube, or is it?). Ergo, they may as well have just created a facebook group.

And where are we today: The Coffee Party - The Cocktail Party - The Molotov Cocktail Party - The Juice Party - The Unemployed Union - The Real Boston Tea Party

Feel free to send us any more of these embarrassments that we might have missed. And pick us up some scones on your way home from work. We have a Tea Party to attend.

Top Secret Directive Amendment to Operative 745

2010-03-15T08:09:00.000-07:00

Base to Operative:

Your mission has been compromised STOP The Central Committee has worked hard to keep your cover STOP but media giant Glenn Beck is on to us STOP We have denied that you have socialist politics STOP and we know that you have shown great resolve in maintaining your cover with plenty of conservative policies STOP There is little more that we can do STOP He has a state-of-the-art tool of counterintelligence STOP A Chalkboard EXCLAMATORY STOP

They have discovered everything STOP They know your reforms are just incremental steps to our totalitarian plans STOP They know you are appointing your comrade operatives STOP They know you weren't born in their country STOP They know you are a practicing Moslem STOP They know you sleep with a teddy bear named Vladdy Lenin STOP They know that Jed Brandt is your spokesperson to the Committees of Public Safety STOP They know everything STOP Burn and delete all documents STOP Execute any FBI or other Secret Police agents suspected of treachery, and have the rest delete all traces you have to the party and the Seventh Communist International STOP These are direct orders STOP

Your General-Secretary Chairman

We Put Glenn Beck On Notice

2010-03-02T13:44:00.000-08:00

Our Bourgeois Media Consumption Bureau (BoroMediConsoBoro) requires a heavy operating budget largely for eye doctors and frequent psychiatric evaluations. You would think a gaggle of unpaid interns would not burden the Party, but as communists we support social health care and practice what we preach. So our unpaid labor force is given rudimentary inspections to prevent depression, dementia, and cataracts. But the BoroMediConsoBoro has clear utility, as exhibited by their capture yesterday of a Mr. Glenn Beck's schwulst about a dear bald comrade.

Now aside from the fact that Mr. Beck references the Brecht Forum as if it were a strip club or porn shop that he didn't want to admit he previously knew anything about and "actually had to look [it] up," Mr. Beck uses great quotes of Mr. Brandt to somehow connect progressivism to communism. We are communists. We are not progressives. Okay, perhaps the Communist Party USA are a bunch of phonies who are not communists but are actually just progressives, but the occasional 'friendship' between the two are not a sign of ideological or political cohesion.

Mr. Beck, on the other hand, is a comedian-turned-pathological-blowhard who has a blustering voice in a central organ of the MainStream Media and spends all day claiming he in otherwise. And then pushes his audience toward fascist activity while claiming fascism is on the right. Worst of all, he whips it out! Mr. Beck, for the love of the General Secretary-Chairman, shove it back down into your pants!

No, Mr. Beck has picked on a member of our party, and we will not sit back. We're getting out our big board of enemies. Hmmm, to put up Glenn Beck we'll have to take something else off. Okay, we'll take down Nick Meglin, and put up Mr. Beck. That's right, we have half a mind to go all V for Vendetta on your ass! You're on notice!

Literally pointless

2010-01-05T22:14:00.000-08:00

As a Public Service announcement, the CP(F) presents to you the full, unedited, periodless text of the recent soundbite of Revolutionary Communist Party Chairman Bob Avakian:

This new synthesis involves a recasting and recombining of the positive aspects of the experience so far of the communist movement and of socialist society, while learning from the negative aspects of this experience, in the philosophical and ideological as well as the political dimensions, so as to have a more deeply and firmly rooted scientific orientation, method and approach with regard not only to making revolution and seizing power but then, yes, to meeting the material requirements of society and the needs of the masses of people, in an increasingly expanding way, in socialist society—overcoming the deep scars of the past and continuing the revolutionary transformation of society, while at the same time actively supporting the world revolutionary struggle and acting on the recognition that the world arena and the world struggle are most fundamental and important, in an overall sense—together with opening up qualitatively more space to give expression to the intellectual and cultural needs of the people, broadly understood, and enabling a more diverse and rich process of exploration and experimentation in the realms of science, art and culture, and intellectual life overall, with increasing scope for the contention of different ideas and schools of thought and for individual initiative and creativity and protection of individual rights, including space for individuals to interact in "civil society" independently of the state—all within an overall cooperative and collective framework and at the same time as state power is maintained and further developed as a revolutionary state power serving the interests of the proletarian revolution, in the particular country and worldwide, with this state being the leading and central element in the economy and in the overall direction of society, while the state itself is being continually transformed into something radically different from all previous states, as a crucial part of the advance toward the eventual abolition of the state with the achievement of communism on a world scale.

We Celebrate this Kwanzaa with a Remembrance of our Martyrs

2009-12-26T08:34:00.000-08:00

As we begin this last Kwanzaa of the aught decade, we would like to strike up a chord of umoja (unity) with the lighting of the first candle, and how better to do that than to have the solid revolutionaries gather around in memorial of the martyrs of our yesteryear.

This year, we remember the killings of Los Angeles Black Panthers Alprentice "Bunchy" Carter, 26, and John Huggins, 21, on January 17th, 1969. These first two Black Panther Party members to have been slain were gunned down by the goons of the Us Organization, a patriarchalist and narrow nationalist rival that was founded by Ron Karenga. The Federal Bureau of Investigation graciously excited the sectarian dispute by Us and the BPP through infiltrators and fake messages between the groups.

It is particularly troubling that the New Black Panther Party, which most of the former leaders of the original BPP have disavowed, has dropped Marxism and socialism in favor of the cultural nationalism and principles of the very Ron Karenga who had Carter and Huggins killed.

The International Socialist Organization and Revolving Door Recruitment

2009-10-25T10:23:00.000-07:00

One of our student cadres, at a time when the FractIntern ordered our party to zero in on campus-based work, was attempting to co-opt an anti-sweatshop formation on his campus in the late 1990s. He was confronted with a preponderance of members of a newly established Socialist Club, the local affiliate of the International Socialist Organization, who were attempting to carry out the same operation for their corresponding party. Rather than immediately go on the attack, he queried their politics and vision in the campaign against the sweatshop manufacturer of that university's apparel. He wondered to them how their party viewed this struggle functioning to further the cause of socialism. This entire Socialist Club chapter looked at him in confusion, and agreed amongst themselves that you didn't have to be a socialist to be in the ISO. They then went around and though all were members of the Socialist Club, and weekly sold issues of the Socialist Worker, none of them self-identified as a socialist.

Clearly, we have a brilliant organizing regimen at work. Recruit as many young people into your party without a gram of discretion, and then train them in the rudiments of the party logic through occasional discussion groups and twice-annual regional conferences which serve to repeat the same analyses of global, local, and historical events. Those that cannot remain committed to the politics, or sell enough issues of the Socialist Wanker, leave or are dismissed.

We have already discussed the ISO in our dynamically ahead-of-the-curve blog (seriously, what other party is so ahead of the curve as to maintain a blog?), in the context of the cooptation and usurpation of groups they didn't specifically produce like the Iraq Veterans Against the War. Similarly, many student groups in the 1990s and 2000s, often focusing on popular struggles like those opposing imperialist war and corporate sweatshops. They have since also become heavy hitters in reproductive rights organizing and the national fight around equal marriage rights.

But most impressively, this Chicago-based party, with few actual international ties (and thus unfortunately open to infantile gags about the "National Socialist Organization" from the anarcho-peanut gallery) has laid waste to bridges on either side of their plateau. They have frustrated the efforts of many folks, sought opportunities in other peoples' organizing, and behaved with almost feverish elitism in their pride at their size and perceived significance. They have a functioning publishing company recently featuring a collection of essays by Wallace Shawn, a periodical distributed in major corporate chains, and have a gaggle of more minor Trotskyite formations that wish to merge or else somehow steel the hidden secret of growth, including the likes of Solidarity, Socialist Action, and Socialist Alternative.

Their elitism is exceptional, for though they maintain no direct cult of personality, they still promote certain theorists and leaders as if they were left celebrities akin to the Chomskys and Cindy Sheehans and Tom Haydens of the day. On the other hand, this group almost inexplicably and consistently supports the Green Party, not trusting itself or other avowedly socialist parties who do have candidates to actually carry any elections.

Therefore, the CP(F) has been left with no other option, but full and total co-optation. We have a number of cadres in our own scattered across the ISO and its editorial boards, and within weeks (unless they somehow discover our plot) we will either have control of their organization, the Socialist Worker, their periodicals, and their publishing company, or stage a full frontal rhetorical assault on these arch-trots.

On Social War and Bashing Back

2009-05-21T11:04:00.000-07:00

The CP(F) wishes to commend the anarchist queer network Bash Back! on its present-thinking modus operandi. Without the need to really hash out any long-term strategies or goals, it's so much easier to make action and have fun.

They are not organizers. They are not consciousness raisers (though assuredly they do a little to raise the consciousnesses of youth who otherwise thought they were alone). They are not revolutionaries. They are not libertarian socialists. They are not forward-thinking. They are not strategic. But they are performative, of-the-moment, fabulous glamarchists.

Without strategy or organizing, we all know that no movement is going to get anywhere. And before you get your panties in a bunch that an ultra-Leninist outfit such as ourselves might cozy up to some anarchists, we're happy to lay it out for you. Much of the Bash Back! milieu actually turns many radicals, queers, trannies, fags, dykes, gay boys, sex workers, and genderfucks off of anarchism by their: excessive use of slurs; chants that "we're anarchists, we'll fuck you up" in remarkably inopportune moments; poor planning for summit shutdown-style actions; puritan hypocrisies; and lack of cohesive ideology. Okay, the vast amounts of glitter and gory-holes do turn some people back on.

It's yet another pretty petit bourgeois formation. Oh, yes, yes, we'll get admonished by all those members flaunting their proletarian street cred. But bring up class as anything more than an identity issue, and you're a workerist (which ironically means bringing up class as an identity issue to many other leftists). That builds the kind of ruptures in movements that makes any factionalist proud. And since most of them oppose 'workerism' and Marxism so completely (by never chancing to figure out what it is), they cloud the issues so perfectly.

Unfortunately, the group is sensationally bad at security culture, though paranoid to a fault, so most of the time even core members don't know where a meeting (or national conference!) is going to be until last minute, while they post the map of the location on blogs that no one but the Feds check. Seriously, one of our sources remembers one time where some members deceived other members into thinking there was not a meeting, and requested people to join an action by telling them they had to completely commit to it before they had any idea what it was, or they couldn't find out what it was! Aw, college freshman!

Bash Back! has made waves. At least eight or so actual chapters (and several more that only exist on wheatpasted paper) were created in the first year of its existance, around the country. They have made national news, got romanticized in Details, and joined the Avakianites of the Revolutionary Communist Party in becoming one of FOX News' favored radical groups to bash.

Clearly, the CP(F) must rethink and launder out of its history the long-term plan to house decadent homosexual cheerleaders in re-education camps with ex-gay headmasters. We must determine the most forward-thinking and progressive outlook on LGBTTIAQ&sometimesY issues, and leap ahead of even that in our programme and manifesto.

If Bash Back! has filled a void amongst young queer and queer-friendly nihilists, then the Factionalists must launch into our own fabulous and angrier-than-thou queerist sectarian mass organization. For details on the open planning meeting to initiate our new project, oh, you don't already know? Well, then we can't tell you. I don't know, dude, if you're in, you're in. Whatever, nobody told you already, I'm sorry, I can't tell you. You'll love it!

Nuestro Cinco de Mayo: El Cumpleanos de Carlos Marxo

2009-05-05T16:24:00.001-07:00

We tried to bake you a cake, but it melted in the oven.

We bought you a present, but it was fragile and fell down the stairs.

We organized a surprise party, but you never dropped by.

We got you a beer at the bar, but we think it was flat.

We got you a gift certificate, but that store closed down.

Is this a catalogue of Marxist ineptitude? No, because there have been many fabulous left wing bakers. But on the 191st birthday of Karl Marx, the CP(F) just isn't sure what to think of the state of Marxism.

An ideology that expounds on the need for a class consciousness that will bring working people together, united, for the conquest of power to achieve an egalitarian society, and probably the greatest basis for movements with any such vision. What a dream! Well, if that's what you want for your 191st, Charlie, there's always next year.

Echidna Associated Society

2009-04-14T22:19:00.000-07:00

The Division Division of the Trotboro of our Party has been watching a small, but allegedly growing pseudo-Humanist Trotskyite sect over the last two years known as the Platypus Affiliated Society. They proclaim the already tired slogan "The Left is dead! Long Live the Left!" Oh, how original!

Burning bridges and creating enemies, they appear to be a rival faction whose modus operandi largely boils down to a once-quarterly, now-sorta-monthly periodical filled with polemics against the Marxist Left, for the reconstitution of the so-called Marxian Left. ist versus ian! As overly intellectual academics, from their ivory towers they drop banners of Enlightenment and claim to be above the fray, while they admonish their cousins in the streets for having not learned the failures of the Pop Front strategy of the 1930s. Worst, they claim chapters in cities or campuses once they have one member there in existence. These soon-to-be-neocon monotremes have clearly taken a page from our playbook!

And so, our Division Division has responded with the creation of the aptly titled Echidna Associated Society, so named as its loosely associated scholarly members grab from many sectors of the egoistic and obfuscatory factional failures of the organizational Left. The sub-sub-sub-sect's now-sorta-weekly-but-really-annual periodical, the Echidna Response, will be due out by the next opportunity for student mobilizations.

Oft blamed for neglecting the actual working class, except where decertifying union battles occur, our talented and up-tempo General Secretary-Chairman now puts forth to the world our newest and least acclaimed of factions, the Echidna Associated Society. And so it be done.

Our Cadres at work: Change to Win collapse

2009-03-19T17:17:00.000-07:00

Within days, it will be announced that UNITE HERE has been broken up. There will be the unions Workers UNITE! and HERE 1. The dissolution of Change to Win will come, and some unions will merge into SEIU, a union that has itself cut 40% of its paid staff.

We had sent our cadres inside some time ago, largely a legion of silver spoon-fed elite university graduates with little work experience, to weaken these union internationals through low morale, corporate strategies, anonymous diatribes against those same corporate strategies, and the loss of rank and file leadership. By the middle of last year, it was evident that the fruits of their damage might be born out in the cracks of the merger between the UNITE! and HERE internationals.

We had also thrown our cadres in SEIU and CNA-NNOC into full-on combat. It was the CP(F) that orchestrated the union raids, decertification drives, and the attack on the Labor Notes conference the year before. Even by proudly confessing to this now, we spread the flames of red-baiting and anti-marxist purges that will quietly take place.

But best of all is the chaos of this year. The Transport and Auto Workers unions conspire to organize industries strongly held by HERE, the old guard leadership of the merged unions are in civil war, SEIU is raiding and trying to swallow whole locals, whole internationals.

All of this makes our inspirational and fearless General Secretary-Chairman feel a bit like an Emperor Palpatine. Soon union rebellion against the AFL-CIO will be crushed, and the labor movement's growth in some sectors will fade to dust. And then, with one fell swoop the CP(F) can enter and have an entire nation of unorganized workers to organize into our mass labor organizations.

Change to Win? I beg of thee, Losers never Win.

News or Letters

2008-12-17T07:19:00.001-08:00

As the Dunayevskayan influenced News and Letters Committees came to a factional end earlier this year, we applaud the comrades that had led the fight for the division into committees of News and their rivals, the committees of Letters. As capitalism is confronted in so much of the rest of the world by united fronts, it is good to see the dialectical bisection of more and more Marxist organizations in North America.

That we support the dissolution and division is apparent. The question for those that follow our positions is which do we support: News, or Letters?

News, that tantric waste of space that wallows in the hypocritical bog of ideological objectivity. Or Letters, in which personal privations may be learned and rumors spread. Read how many of Karl Marx's letters were biting polemics or sarcastic scoffs at contemporaries far behind their backs. It is clear, for the purposes of the sectarian revolution we call for, the CP(F) STANDS WITH LETTERS!

Kasama and the Revolutionary Communist Party

2008-09-23T20:11:00.000-07:00

There is much to discuss these days, as the Party funds have been crippled when our stocks in Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers, and Fannie Mae have been crushing. But we have a solution. More Party dues, more paper sales! How will we accomplish this? By picking up some comrades on the rebound.

Over the past several years, there have been a few periods where our rivals in the Revolutionary Communist Party (United $tates of Amerikkka) have seen mass purges or mass defection during periods of strategic upheaval and self-proclaimed cultural revolution. Our rare, unique, special and irreplacible comrade General Secretary-Chairman has been watching these events with bated breath, less such an awaking from so-called personality cults hit other parties as infectiously as the financial collapse has dominoed between investment banks.

Let us assure our great comrade Bob Avakian, the Stalin to our General Secretary-Chairman's Lenin, that their intransigence in the face of internal dissent and apostacy has been nothing short of inspirational. We offer our hearty admiration to Chairman Bob for his narrow mindedness and dogmatic anti-revionism.

But the comrades who have led these recreances or been excommunicated have also shown an inspirational path, showing a way of factionalism that is worthwhile yet maintaining a line in support of authoritarian Maoism. And we believe that the residual desire for a new idol and sense of listlessness in the want of Party orders may lead these comrades to seek another revolutionary communist fighting machine on which to rely. So far, the Maoist Internationalist Movement (MIM) has already issued blistering communiques against the former Avakianites.

The RCP deserters, both of the Kasama project and else, include young party militants and theorists, which will greatly increase the projected sales of our party organs, and flush us with dues, bringing us back from the brink of a microcosm of the kind of economic disaster that Karl Marx foretold of. Again, our unique and rare General Secretary-Chairman, a mirror of the caliber of revolutionary of a Vladimir Ilyich Lenin or a Louis Auguste Blanqui, has found a way for us!

And if that doesn't work, perhaps we'll apply for a government bail-out.

The 101st Sectbourne Brigade at the Iraq Veterans Against the War

2008-08-28T11:45:00.000-07:00

What a great summer for conventions! Be it Labor Notes, Service Employees International Union, Democratic, Republican or Iraq Veterans Against the War, mix some extra miracle whip into the pasta salad, slice a watermelon, and put the flask into a paper bag, because it's Convention Time!

No, the CP(F) will not be having it's planned Rocky Mountain regional convention, as that one collective who was going to host us broke up, that Jewish museum found out we're anti-Zionist and canceled our reservations, and those students couldn't get their act together to get the paperwork in on time. So, I guess we won't be able to pass Comrade Murphy's proposed law.

Well, in lieu of this, we have been plotting for the past month to have a fractiously solid bloc at the Iraq Veterans Against the War convention coming up this weekend in the Twin Cities (which we love, since we believe they were once a singly city but broke up over an area code. We could be wrong, but we have Comrade O'Reilly fact-checking.)

This convention will be a big deal, not just because of steady growth in that now four year old organization, but because our rivals in the International Socialist Organization are pushing a big slate of candidates for those positions on the national board that are open. The more independent-minded but no less radical IVAWers (pronounce that) are also pushing a slate that would try to wrest the group from total ISO control. And either faction could split if the other wins.

Well, in honor of this, our Fractious Caucus will be forming in the moments before the convention begins, and we will pursue a third slate of five comradely veterans, each of whom will call for the IVAW to split their separate ways. In the event that we lose, we will consolidate our forces into the caucus (many of whom were drill sergeants or Coast Guard), and plan other means of demoralizing the troops (ahem, anti-war veterans) until they all go our way.

Because our Party sees no need for a united front of anti-war soldiers, fighting both for their and their compatriots' healthcare and tuition benefits, proving that many opponents of these grisly wars are among the loudest in opposition, and giving a united voice to those who have direct experiences having fought in the war. We think that they should all march to our orders, and if any of them don't, stand down and give us twenty!

So, be ready for us, the ISO, and the state agents to be very present at the IVAW convention with every plan of co-optation or division, and if you don't like it, step on a mine, and take that in your pipe and smoke it!

The CP(F) solves the food crisis with millet and mullet

2008-06-22T13:11:00.000-07:00

For five or so months, protests, strikes, riots, and rebellions have rocked the planet over the increasing costs of fuel and food, a menial crisis for some but catastrophic for billions of people living in a poverty created by capitalist imperialism. Wheat, corn, rice, plantain, banana, tomato, yuca, milk, eggs, you name it and the staples of people who are just barely surviving under regimes of neo-colonialism and corporate globalization are finding themselves at the breaking point. This is not over-population, as Western racists would have us believe to evade us from issues of underdevelopment and exploitation.

To address this, and issue a clear command to all of our members, the CP(F) PolitBoro has decided to call on a cuisine strike, to last for at least a month. From henceforth, our comrades will be sticking to the sub-basics, the most plebeian options available on the market. Our primary source of grain will be millet, for use as a hot cereal, flour, bread, beer source, and for all other such uses. For meat eaters, we will be restricted to mullet, and the occasional roadkill rabbit or deer. Sugars will come from artificial sweeteners to be poached from capitalist restaurants, and salts may be grated out of salt water lakes and seas.

We feel that, in the great tradition of Gandhi and non-violent resisters, we can show our solidarity with rioters around the world through this form of anti-elitist fasting, cleansing ourselves of the bourgeois decadence that helps instill our need to defend petit bourgeois class interests. All comrades found sauteeing quinoa, enjoying non-soured wines or cooking with too many aromatic spices in their dishes will be sentenced to self-criticism essays to be published in the Party's self-criticism quarterly and at a length of our choosing. End communication.

The Keyboard is mightier than the Sword!

2008-05-23T10:46:00.000-07:00

The highest proletarian achievements can be gained through the internet, something that the CP(F) realizes far ahead of our comradely rivals. Therefore, we will begin a Tet Offensive by enforcing that as many members as have access join Friendster, MiGente, and all such sites.

Monitoring the bourgeois press, our agitprop and outreach Ministries have realized that the best means available to reaching young people is through this world wide web, and just as we were among the first rush of blogs to exist as of two years ago, the Party will take full advantage of the internationalism and camaraderie evident on these socialist networking sites.

Further, thanks to some of our more tech savvy comrades in the Students for a Bolshevik Society, we have learned that these sites also enable Party militants to begin on-line petitions, and we will take the fullest advantage of this weapon that is immediately available.

On the other, we realize that though the keyboard is mightier than the sword, this new black powder boom stick is still mightier than the keyboard. The Party will clandestinely begin stockpiling hand cannons and fire lances immediately!

International Workers Day approaches

2008-04-26T11:27:00.000-07:00

Happy May Day!

The League of Red Nostalgia, in conjunction with the Industrial Workers of the World, calls for massive marches for the First of May. As we organized the the last few years' resurgence in the interest of the great International Workers Day, we offer only humility in our estimate that thousands of workers will be on the streets, all thanks to the evocative writing styles of our periodical, The Socialist Wanker!

May the FARC fight on forever! Fraternal Greetings to our Orthodox Comrades

2008-04-09T09:18:00.000-07:00

The General Secretary-Chairman has been a solid supporter and ally of the Fuerzas Armadas Revolucionarias de Colombia – Ejército del Pueblo (FARC-EP) since their official founding in 1964, and even earlier, during their part in the 1950s Colombian Civil War.

On this date sixty years ago, the progressive Liberal politician and Presidential candidate Jorge Eliecer Gaitan was gunned down by rightists (though Wikipedia valiantly keeps alive completely fallacious theories like Fidel Castro being the assassin as a Soviet agent). Thus set off six decades of war that made Colombia's turn-of-the-century Thousand Days War look like a British royal tea party.

And that's how we North Americans and Westerners enjoy our wars. Far away and quite exciting. We don't have to fight them, well except the United States soldiers covertly participating. We just sit back and take sides, and all the better when there are plenty of sides and they appear to stay still despite the tests of time. [Note: The CP(F)'s Bureau of Poppofying will be releasing anniversary editions of our now classic Colombian Civil War board game. Order your child's game today!]

As for the FARC, which cannot disarm at threat of democide by the rightist paramilitarios, we are happy to report that its arcane and intransigent Leninist orthodoxy mirrors our own. The FARC's hoary top leadership has venerably maintained solidly anachronistic policies and strategies for many years now, proving their authenticity. Bayonet Revolutionary Dynamism! Onwards to Declining Significance!

Similarly, we wish to welcome back those Factionalist comrades we had to purge two years ago thanks to their ELN and ERP sympathies. Now that hostilities between these forces have moderated, we will temporarily drop our objections to our comrades' backwards stances.

Attempting an alliance with the Spartacist League

2008-03-29T09:54:00.000-07:00

The CP(F) has long made it clear that we like you, International Communist League (Fourth Internationalist). Sure, you can give us the brush-off, and spout about how we once had a wrong analysis of the Dergue or have a different position on age of consent laws. But we like you. And we want you to know it.

We like the name of your prison group- Partisan Defense Committee. That's such a damn good name, we wished we'ed thought it up first. It just sounds so bad-ass. We're thinking of starting a similar group, more appropriately named Puritan Defense Committee. But it just isn't the same. Besides, we wish we had had your foresight to take over Luxemburg's group's name, even though you're nothing like them.

And we like the way you get so militant around neo-fascist groups. When you shove them or spray them with paint, oh, what's that sensation we get? Is it hot and soft- or hard? Doesn't matter, that's just how you make us feel.

But most of all, we like your puritanism. Your articles are so polemically written, your narrow mindedness knows all bounds, and you've broken up more conferences, workshops and planning meetings than probably all of the East Coast FBI offices combined have in the past forty years.

Other leftists may call you an embarassment, but we know the truth. Y'see, the CP(F), like the Spartacist League, believes that rabid in-fighting is ultra-dialectical, and division has an ism at the end.

So, if you ever want, maybe we could go out sometime. Maybe find a nice proletarian pub, or lambast the ISO together. Or, it could be something more casual. We could just scoot our Workers Vampire newspaper-selling table at a college campus a little closer to your Workers Vanguard table. Think about it. Interested? Find us on San Francisco Craigslist's discreet encounters section.

Muah!

UJP and SO!UTION Proposals for actions

2008-03-18T10:28:00.000-07:00

Thanks to a three month dispute over the process on which our meetings would be held, and whether colons or semi-colons were more appropriate for the flyer sub-headlines, the UJP and SO!UTION anti-war coalitions had as yet not decided on a proposal for the next few days of protest on the fifth anniversary of this imperialist war against Iraq (which technically started back in 1991 and never ended, but that is beside the point). The final plan is as follows.

The Protest Old-Guard, a section of the UJP leadership which had organized large rallies for Western unilateral disarmament thirty years ago, has proposed the following: As the war approaches its sixth year, we suggest the anti-war movement take the lead of the LGBTTIAQ rights movement. Their most significant annual activity began a revolt, which indeed the anti-war movement can relate to on the first night of the invasion. It then became an annual protest march, which we have indeed carried out each year. And now it is a big, festive parade. We propose to line up corporate sponsors (putting the funds raised in our trust), call for revellers along the routes, and to hold celebratory anti-war parades with the co-sponsorship of all cities involved. In this way, we can become the mainstream, and as the Iraq war will clearly continue thanks to the inept policies of the current anti-war movement, we can build it up to a larger and more mainstream parade every year. We will know we have hit pay dirt when the local news media and municipal governments inflate rather than underestimate our numbers.

Unfortunately, the renegade faction SO!UTION has drawn out of this plan, and will be wrangling with municipal governments in their respective courts for downtown march permits that they should be allowed but will never get. The marches will occur whichever year there is finally a settlement.

And the youth movement Students for an Ontological Society will be organizing a feeder march to look for if there an anti-war movement even exists. Meanwhile, the Students for a Bolshevik Society will organize a hostile breakaway out of this feeder.

All comrades must boycott all other actions that are planned by any other anti-war coalitions, whose make-ups are not at all democratic and all-encompassing.

The Fifth Anniversary of the Iraq War approaches

2008-03-14T11:44:00.000-07:00

As the Fifth anniversary of the Iraq War approaches, inviting all of the expected hyperbole by our unimaginative brothers and sisters in the anti-imperialist and anti-militarist struggles here in the belly of the beast, our Troops Out Today Directorate wonders what lessons activists have learned from the past several years.

There certainly have been many of the greatest examples of factionalism on many sides of the conflict, from sectarian fighting in Iraq to break-ups of conservative counter-protester groups to, of course, splinters in the anti-war movement. Granted, UFPJ isn't sending suicide bombers to ANSWER rallies, and ANSWER in turn isn't assassinating Troops Out Now Coalition clerics. But both of these manifestations of opposition factionalism are very valuable to us indeed.

As the Troops Out Today Directorate, in collaboration with SO!UTION (Stop Occupations! United To Implode Oppression Network) and the Union for Justice with Peace (UJP), was the initial callers for demonstrations on March 19th and 20th (by getting the ball rolling a full twenty months ago), we are excited to see separate protest rallies and marches will be held in many cities, but frustrated that some of the other, albeit more reformist anti-war coalitions are actually working collaboratively, a travesty if ever there was one. When demonstrations are separate, it allows the news media to better establish which anti-war coalitions are strongest. Irregardless, SO!UTION and UJP expect to hold a rally in Los Angeles with forty thousand participants, and a simultaneous one in New York's Staten Island borough with ninety thousand attendees.

And there are also great developments in the CP(F) efforts to usurp Iraq Veterans Against the War and related groups to our own ends (namely, more factionalism), though we are finding stiff competition for these exact same aims from the International Socialist Organization. Why can't they understand that we are simply better usurpers and factionalizers than they are?

On the Historical Revisionism of Anarchists and Leninists

2008-03-04T09:04:00.000-08:00

One of the greatest crimes of capitalism, and indeed any system of exploitation, is the absolute domination of history it maintains. But what happens with those in opposition to that very system are guilty of the same sin? It is no more justifiable! Know truth and truth shall set ye free!

So let's shed some light on historical revisionism. In the years 1918 through 1921, industrial parts of Italy underwent the Biennio Rosso, in which the possibility for a social revolution was very real. Among the top signs was a powerful factory occupation movement. Let's see how our alleged comrades of today discuss this period.

First, the anarchists of the site libcom.org (Liberal Communists or something) have a page dedicated to the Biennio Rosso. This page is wonderful in that it unabashedly wallows in the kind of factionalism we seek to promote. How does it do this? By completely omitting the large role played by the non-anarchist Marxists in the struggles. Whenever an action or thought can be attributed to anarchists, they endlessly mention the word. Whenever one should be attributed to non-anarchist Marxists, they simply drop ideological adjectives and act as if the workers acted completely without political philosophy. And there are some other glaring omissions too. The writer mentions how European working class movements became larger and more militant after World War I, but no where is mentioned the role that the new existence of the Soviet Union played in inspiring them, and whatever you think of the Soviet Union, on that note there is no debate. And after going out of their way not to put non-anarchist Marxists in a positive light, they then attack Italian Marxists and socialists at the end. It is really a delightful read, though just a simple example of how we Leftists consider each other greater enemies than the capitalist class. Why are we angry with the article? We'll get to that.

Now rightists and bourgeois historians like to blame this period for the next period, the Biennio Negri, when the fascists took power, but that's like blaming a man who talked back to verbal police harassment for the beating that then takes place. A person or a people have a right to resist, and the repression that occurs later is not to be blamed on them.

Similarly to LibCom, the english-language wikipedia, though extremely brief, paints the picture as anarchist. But move to the Italian wikipedia, and the article is devoid of any reference to anarchists, placing the significance on the inspiration of the Russian Revolutions, and the Italian (non-anarchist) Marxist movements, never once mentioning anarchism.

And while some (non-anarchist) Marixist accounts have simply given their anti-authoritarian would-be comrades their due, fortunately many others continue the line of the Italian wikipedia and the converse of the anarchist version. It's as if a fuller picture requires reading both, skipping past the anarchist attacks on the Leninists. But all of this revisionism is greatly in the interest of the factionalism, comrades.

Of course, both accounts are quite false. The truth goes something more like this:

Biennio Rosso

Back in 1915, Segretario Generale-Capo (a cousin twice-removed of our own venerable GSC) joined the anti-imperialist defeatists at the Zimmerwald Conference, specifically calling for the reclamation of the forces of production while the national militaries were away.

Generale-Capo then sent his small circle of comrades into the factories and warehouses of Torino, where they quietly agitated until they began defenestrating bosses from windows in 1918. Of course, thanks to the Mediterranean Free Trade Agreement, jobs were quickly depleting from northern Italy to Albania, and while shifting the blame from a racist attack on Albanians to one against the boss class, Generale-Capo launched a factory occupation movement like the world had never seen.

All was preceding gloriously, when anarchist ultra-leftists who desired to 'abolish work' began throwing fist fights with the Faccionalisti workers, and PSI bureaucrats called for everyone to 'Stop the Violence,' 'Save the Children,' and 'Keep Hope Alive.'

Both those with infantile and elderly disorders were, in actuality, agents of Mussolini which led eventually to his March on Rome. While Generale-Capo languished in a Neopolitano prison, his movement split between Trotsky and Stalin. And, well, that's really what happened.

The New York Philharmonic in the People's Democratic Republic of Korea

2008-02-26T12:26:00.000-08:00

As the People's Democratic Republic of Korea is our most shining example of the luminous path of non-Marxist Stalinism, we are always quick to take note at the all-bearing glory of the finest exemplar of democracy that our world has to offer.

This is why our Central-East Asian Department of the Foreign Relations Bureau is aghast at the news that the New York Philharmonic has been permitted into the world's finest hermit democratic republic to dispense with a western decadence that can only mean detriment to the great Juchean society that the Big Kim and Lil Kim strove so hard to achieve.

On the bright side, it is an exciting testament to the beauty of the PDRK that we believe some of the North Americans' oboe section has escaped their handlers to live out exile in Juche and prosperity. The tremendous liberty of Koreans is revealed by the lack of refugees or exiles or immigrants to come out in the past sixty years.

Vote Capitalism '08

2008-02-24T13:18:00.000-08:00

The CP(F) is deeply divided by the news of the Ralph Nader presidential candidacy. Several hundred of our comrades, led by some indignant sector chiefs, have bandied his way, splitting from their comrades who already pushed for the support of whomever the Greens nominate. All of these comrades have been duly censured for their actions having strayed from the two dominant party tendencies, those who either call for permanent election boycotts, and those who plan to write-in "General Secretary-Chairman of the Communist Party (Factionalist)" after our own GSC was unceremoniously stripped of his right to a candidacy for refusing to bare his legal nomenclature. Also censured are those micro-sects endorsing rival Leninist parties' candidates and the Socialist Party.

And to our comrades and fellow travelers in Ohio, Texas and Pennsylvania, we are continuing our Primary tactic of writing in 'Capitalism.' Please text cell phone pictures of your ballots to 53646 as evidence of your adhesion to the party line.

Great Miraculous Bourgois Ghost, Kosovo Breaks With Serbia

2008-02-22T09:22:00.000-08:00

Despite our Politboro's sometime fascination with completely un-Marxist deformed proletarian state capitalist dictatorships (from Stalin to Mao, from Noriega to Milosevic), we are great supporters of Factionalism first. That is why we congratulate the strong brothers and sisters of Kosovo in voting for the world's new youngest nation! (Beating current n00b East Timor).

We also must give thanks to the Serbian nationalists for trashing Western embassies. Your intentions may have been anti-factionalist and racist, but your deeds were a black light shining in the compact fluorescent whiteness that is Western imperialist influence.

What's Your Favorite Split in Marxist History?

2008-02-20T08:43:00.000-08:00

Karl Marx and Mikhail Bakunin split in the First International.
Lenin splits with most of the social democrats in Europe.
Trotsky is all but exiled from the Soviet Union by Stalin and co. ('and co.' is later killed off in the 1930s purges).
The Sino-Soviet split of the early 1960s.
The General Secretary-Chairman splits from the world's Leninist movements to create the CP(F).

CP(F) blog back on-line after techno-bureaucratic putsch

2008-02-19T15:03:00.000-08:00

The Politboro of the Communist Party (Factionalist) apologizes deeply for the website hiatus, placing all blame on the techno-bureaucratic Stalinoid opportunist putsch a year and a half ago that required a purge and fierce internal party debate over the use of digital recruitment. It is our feeling, of course, that the internet is a reactionary tool of the outsourcers and off-layers to further reduce the workforce. Nevertheless, like Nazis who use rock music, Christian fundamentalists who rap, or business unions who engage in Maoist sloganeering, we feel that we must use means not necessarily within our principles to take on our ends.

As for the recent elections, we believe the anarchist response to boycott is conservative and silent. That is why the CP(F) formally adopts a campaign of widespread voter fraud and polling place sabotage. Elimintate the paper tiger elections! Quash the comprador campaigns!

We also ask for you to disregard those renegade sects of our party which respectively call for endorsing the reactionaries Hillary Rodham Clinton, Barack Hussein Obama, and Enver Hoxha. These sects will be cruelly ostracized from party fiestas and pot-lucks.

On the break-away Raulista Faction

2006-08-03T10:25:00.000-07:00

The Politboro of the CP(F) wishes to distance itself in the utmost from the right opportunist breakaway group calling itself the Raulista Faction. We deplore this renegade move by former comrades who have siezed upon Fidel Castro's recent illness to expose their sibling rivalic tendency, shifting loyalties prematurely to the great Presidente's brother. Their actions are in no way representative of those of the CP(F), and though they may attribute their activites to the Party and lay claim to membership in the Party, they are henceforth expelled til they repent their positions!

Draft Resolution 2.0

2006-07-24T21:47:00.000-07:00

The current Israeli aggression against Lebanon pails in comparison to the naked aggression of the ultra-Left's attacks on the moderate wings of the Republicratic Parties. We of the CP(F) oppose with all of our toughest might both the Israeli aggression against Lebanon, the Syrian aggression against Lebanon, and the Lebanese resistance to Syrian aggression. If we don't do it, who will?

Draft Resolution 1.0 Legalization or Amnesty?

2006-06-05T23:37:00.000-07:00

Millions have taken the streets to march for the rights of indocumentados, and this has not gone unnoticed by the anti-ecumenicalist CP(F) directorate, which, after months of demonstrations, has thought about our positions with due diligence and offers our thoughts on the current stage of the struggles.

Firstly, we are glad to see that our own divisions are mirrored in the wider movements, that of whether it is preferred to fight for legalization or amnesty. With millions of families hanging in the balance, the worry of parents and children of the possibility of separation by deportation, wild labor abuses by the boss class against indocumentados, and increasing violence and vigilante activity against those sin papeles, we are glad that there are some sectors who know that the real, more important fight is over two words. And we are grateful to the bourgeois news media for focusing disproportionate levels of attention on this debate rather than looking at the unity of communities from all around the world, the genuine racism of those who oppose immigrants rights, and the draconian measures within H.R. 4437. Our proudly marginal vanguard was rendered unfunctional in the streets in large part due to this conflict.

And secondly, we are happy to see that there are still leftists, those who claim to support workers rights, but are willing to make exceptions in the case of foreign-born workers. Though they may be few and far between, those leftists who oppose immigrants workers rights prove the contradictory nature of some sectors of the so-called left. We have a tiny sect that has the same view, and we love to trumpet their position despite their relative minisculenessocracy.

Politboro and Party Strength

2006-06-01T19:58:00.000-07:00

With an official membership in the ten thousand range, and an actual membership in the hundreds, the CP(F) has at points in recent years been the fastest growing Leninist faction this side of the Ganges. We have micro-regionalist chapters in every corner of the United States, and representatives from countries around the world.

Our Central Committee consists people in the following positions. Names are not posted or have been changed to protect rights to clandestinaiety and since our spelling is kind of bad, and because of genuine concerns of DHS network-mapping, but all of these positions are taken and held by real people. Every position was founded by the member presiding in it, and some have changed positions after being purged and reintroduced.

Central Committee
General Secretary Chairman
Rob... Minister of Sectarianism
Naperville Bill... Minister of Discombobulation
Mike... Min. of Usurpation
Min. of Getting His Butt Kicked Out (Excommunication)
M1... Min. of Auditory Theater
Mark... Min. of Supplying the Party with Maoist Guerrilla Literature-Des Moines
Min. of Mayhem
Tim... District Chairman-Seattle
Min. of Sweatpants-Iowa
Gustavo... Min. of Powertools
Min. of Dank CTA Tunnels
Min. of Rolling (contested position)
Joe... Min. of Falsity
Sam... Min. of Truth
Min. of Industrial Noise
Min. of Strokin
Dan... Min. of Justice
Min. of Vegetarian Burritos
Min. of Crappy Theatres-Peru
Min. of Free Lego-Puerto Rico
Min. of Fujimorismo-Peru
Min. of Rank and File Opposition
Min. of Natal Alienation
Chief of Food Procession
Earl... Min. of Negativity
Min. of Metals
Min. of Spirit
Min. of Tofu
Min. of Fellow Traveling
Max... Min. of Totalitarian PR
Min. of David Hasselhoff Hair-Cleveland Deputy
Min. of Leg Humping
Alpha Agent of Alliteration
Min. of Unstroking
Min. of Espanol
Min. of Free Trade Zones
Min. of Bodily Fluids
King Tubby... Min. of Revolutionary BBoy Crews
Min. of Vanity
Scott... Min. of War
Min. of Disbanding the CP(F)
Min. of Memetics
Dave... Min. of Fecal Disbursement
Min. of Social Lubrication
Min. of Cans of Whoop Ass (maintained against the ISO)
Min. of Carnal Knowledge
Min. of Enforced Prop
Min. of Organization
Sara... Min. of Voluntary Human Extinction
Min. of Defensetration-Guyana
Carolyn... Min. of Lemon Squeezing
Min. of Organization
Min. of Spatial Grinding
Min. of Defining Factors
Nicole... Min. of Fashionism
Min. of Nit-Picking (Particularism)
Min. of Dolphinism
Min. of Recreational Drugs & Home Grown
Min. of War-Mexico
Min. of Fornication-Binghamton
Min. of Entropy
Min. of Foreign Affairs
Min. of Coolant
Min. of Federal Railroadism
Commandant Chieftess of the Vegan Army
Min. of Escapism-Gourmet Food Preparation
Min. of Secutiry of Emergency Exits
Min. of Summary Executions
Min. of Tupac Shakur Regenerationism
Blu the dog... Min. of Adorable, yes you are, yes your are, that's my wittle.....

To apply to join the Central Committee, leave a comment with a first name and position title.

Processes of the Party

2006-06-01T03:53:00.000-07:00

As everything in the CP(F) is consistently debated in the dredges of the dankest of basements and community centers by our eloquently factionalist membership, it is important to note that virtually none of our statements nor policies nor communiques are ever beyond draft form, unless posted by renegade sects that attempt a unilateralist policy of publication.

This is also the reason why our weekly newspaper, the Sectarian Worker, has been indefinitely postponed, as well as due to the successful factionalizing of the sniveling cowards that was our editorial board.

Regardless, this new blog will be the resurrection of the Party in public and national form. After the creation of such newly formed Leninist groups as the Communist League, the Free Peoples Movement, the Organization, and others since the CP(F) reached a stagnant stage of dormancy, we have decided that our crusade (yes, crusade, as our General Secretary-Chairman is nothing if not a messianic figure), must continue.

We will speak through those mass movements we operate within, including our anti-war front, er, anti-coalition JUST ANSWER PEACE!, and others. Our various, innumerable, countless factions will also now be given a forum, as will the communiques of our fearless leader-on-high, the ignoble General Secretary-Chairman.

To join us, leave a first name (doesnt have to be real) and a ministry, and prepare for a rigid lifestyle, rife with fractionalism, sectarianism, factionalism (there are nuances between the three), purges, and hopefully someday a return to our most egregious of revolutionary errors: opportunistic quotaed newspaper selling. Those ministries which currently exist and are still known shall also be posted in coming days (or possibly hours), though names in most cases are changed to protect our politboro.

As for our raison d’être, to place a mirror in front of the left in the United States Empire, make it laught at itself, and then let it whimper when it realizes it can never be as factionalistic as we. We have set the precedent for attacking foolosophers and philistines (sorry to the Palestinians offended by the term) who stick to the sectarian dogma that has helped keep the Left marginal. The Left's alleged goals - to correct injustice, fight for democracy, strive for a better society for all- have been successfully cut short thanks to the amazing internal divisionism that has kept it weak. So, as the first party formed specifically to attract agents provocateurs, we say splendid to the Left for doing what the state infiltrators could only dream of doing: making our collective and thoroughly righteous goals incredibly difficult to materialize.

Down with Anarchy, Centralize Authority!

Draft Programme and Manifesto

2006-06-01T03:28:00.000-07:00

To begin our new blogs, our Draft Programme and Manifesto, in need of update:

The Abridged Draft Programme & Manifesto of the
New Communist Revolutionary Socialist Alternative People's Power Democratic Internationalist United Peasant's Black Popular Independent Student's Soldier's Industrial Worker's defence Autonomous Global Anarcho Insurgent Armed Liberation All-African National Panther Oppressed Syndicalist Red Flag Progressive Labour Struggle Freedom Road Anti-Imperialist Direct Action Social Justice Solidarity October Resistance Proletarian Pacifist Humanist Bolshevik Uhuru Militant Current Green Situationist Labour Insurrectionist Intransigent
Another World is Possible
Prairie Fire by Night Radical Vanguard
Front-League-Organization-Brigade-Party
(Marxist-Leninist-Maoist-Trotskyist-Bakuninist-Bolshevist-Reconstitution-Reformation-Refoundation-
Workers' Democracy-Broad Front-New Majority-Unity-Macheteros-Fight Back-Free Red Homeland-
People's Army-General Command)
The Vanguard Party of the vanguard parties!

Courtesy of UberVanguard Press, a subsidiary of Fractintern Publishers Inc. & Crimethinc

Position Statement:
All revolutionary theory and praxis, says our virulent General Secretary Chairman, comes from the dialectical process, and this is our strategic revolutionary framework. Only through the acts of sectarianism and purges can our all-powerful and prophetous General Secretary Chairman cleanse us of bourgeois decadence, reactionary contradictions, and revisionist horse manure!
All comrades must recognize, as has been taught to us by the great and valiant General Secretary Chairman, that the masses cannot lead the revolution, and we have learned that it is best if they do not even participate in it! While the party, led by the superior and supreme General Secretary Chairman, espouses the ideal of the jacobin mob, the people are brainwashed zombie-slaves, and cannot possibly participate in their own emancipation! Further, no group that does not totally and completely follow the party doctrine, laid down on us by the heaven's luminous rays from which the General Secretary Chairman leads us, cannot be anything but a reactionary fascist paper-tiger! Coalitions are to be joined, as we have seen in the vast and all encompassing experience of the honorable General Secretary Chairman, only if our comrades gum up meetings in unnecessary and monotonous debates on the specific theoretical framework and the process, and if, soon before the events the coalitions plan, the coalition is either totally controlled and co-opted by the party, or has broken apart into many tiny little itty bitty bitter fractions. This is truly the path to the Great Proletarian Revolutionary Socialist triumph, where we will serenade our divine General Secretary Chairman as he wallows in his own crap...ulence.

Platform:
The CP(F) believes that, besides perpetual factionalism and purges, selling newspapers is the most revolutionary method in the quest for mass armed struggle, although unfortunately the entire editorial staff broke off into a faction. The CP(F) is the leading member of the Fractiontern. The CP(F) is founded upon (Groucho)Marxism-Lennonism-Trotism-MauMauism-Stolenism thought. It espouses all people's factions everywhere, looking as a historical process at the fraction that left Spartacus, led by Peepeefeces, the fraction of Stenka Razin, led by Stinky Raisin, and the fraction off of Pugachev, led by his Pukingchief. After breaking off from the First International, a sect known as the Marxist Brotherhood, led the first Marxian revolutionary fraction. From there we have seen the Spartacus League and SWP in the USA, the great national liberation schism in Angola, the internal conflicts of the Bolsheviks, the leadership of the gang of four during the great
proletarian cultural revolution, and the ambience of such landmark movements as Sendero Luminosa and the Khmer Rouge. Our leader has also led us to consistently support micro-regionalist movements, like the Macedonians, Timorese, ETA, IRA, Chechens, Moro, Eritreans, and others.

History:
It is believed our General Secretary Chairman was born in a small town in Georgia. In 1921, one day after the founding of the Communist Party, our great founder and General Secretary Chairman broke with the revisionist CP, and founded the CP(F). He had been a wobbly, who had broken off under the slogan 'thousands of tiny unions.' His ideals, though, led him to a series of dialectical errors, in which he joined many other North American Marxist groups, and consistently saw their counter-revolutionary, bourgeois, decadent and revisionist errors, and consistently broke off. Our greatest model in North America is the Spartacus League. During the 1920s, the party supported Sacco over Venzetti, as the former's name was easier to spell.
In 1926, the party broke apart into factions temporarily, and then led the revolutionary struggle in the early 1930s, which were subverted by the reactionary CP, SWP and mass movements. The party started rent riots for middle class cadres, supported the superlumpenproletarians against the lumpenproletarians or proletarians, and founded the first unemployment council for out-of-work intellectuals. Simultaneously, during the Trotsky-Stalin split after Lenin’s death, the party sided with Kamo, and sects broke off in favor of Zinoviev, Bukharin, the anarchists, the Mensheviks, Trotzky, and Stalin. then a sect broke off of the Trotzky sect arguing that the name should be spelled with an 's.'
During the Spanish Civil War, the party organized the John Brown Brigade in opposition to the CP Abraham Lincoln brigade, and broke up into fractions supporting the CNT, the Phalange, and revisionist Marxist-Leninists. The party applauded both Stalin's purges of counterrevolutionary traitors, as well as Trotsky's criticism of it, and then was divided over the assassination of Trotsky. During WWII, the party again broke up into sects supporting the allies, others supporting the Soviet and Chinese red armies, others supporting the Czech and Greek partisans, some supporting Diego Rivera and Frida Khalo, some supporting Picasso, and Jeremy, who supported Switzerland. There were again splits in the party over the Yugoslavia question, and this led to massive purges. The party was virtually destroyed during the era of McCarthyism, after vengeful former members

had an amazing propensity to name names (some of which had to be checked
in to mental institutions because they became incapable of stopping). The party reemerged by the end of the 1950s, in time to condemn Khrushchev for his condemnation of Stalin, who had also been condemned by the CP(F).
The party condemned the 26 de julio revolution of Cuba in favor of the communist party of that country, and saluted the in-fighting and coup of Algeria's Ben Bella. One of the landmark moments in the history of the party came in the great, revolutionary schism. the Sino-Soviet split was actually begun at a tea party held by the our great general-secretary chairman involving soviet and Chinese leaders (Zhou Enlai was not invited, as he was too diplomatic), in which the general-secretary chairman privately alerted Chinese leaders to the soviets' intentions of dominating the 3rd world national liberation struggles in a Soviet social-imperialist assault, and then privately alerting the soviet leaders that the Chinese had criminalized vodka in favor of rice wine. The party was split during the Angolan national liberation struggle, between those supporting the FNLA, the MPLA, Unita, and the by then-defunct Grae.
The Communist Party (Factionalist) currently claims a membership level at over ten thousand, with chapters all over the country. It is the leading member of the Fractintern, which claims member branches in some eleven countries, colonies, and micro regions.

Down w/ Anarchy, Centralize Authority!
Don't Agonize, Factionalize!
Onwards, to the Great Proletarian Revolutionary Schism!
Workers of the World, Divide!
Stop Leftist Redundancy, Now!
Liberate Botswana from Left Examplism!
End the Practice of Confusionism!
Purge, Argue, Purge!
People's Army Faction for Life!

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